Rose Hirst

Bylines: The Independent, NZ Herald, The Spinoff, news.com.au, Cheek Media, Roe Magazine

Freelance journalist & writer

Writing about culture, consumer trends and the curious rules of modern life we all live by. 

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My Latest Work

The Spinoff •

Chewed up and spat out: The tainted afterlife of a buzzword | The Spinoff

How words go from obscurity to vitality to the linguistic dustbin of the past.Recently, I wanted to describe something as “unprecedented”, but couldn’t bring myself to. Even typing the word now, I can almost smell the hand sanitiser, feel the phantom tickle of a face mask, and see nightmarish flashbacks of another 1pm press conference. It was, after all, one of the buzzwords of the Covid era.That word – “era” – is now ruined for me, too. Taylor Swift’s Era’s Tour colonised it to the point that I...
The Independent •

Meet the women breaking their ribs to get a ‘snatched’ waist

I used to think there was just fat and skinny. Apparently, there are a lot of things that can be wrong with your body.”This was a line from the Noughties classic Mean Girls, as the three titular characters crowd around a bedroom mirror bemoaning their appearances. “God, my hips are huge,” the first deplores. “Oh please, I hate my calves,” the second laments. “At least you guys can wear halters. I’ve got man shoulders,” the third despairs.For most women, the scene is still painfully relatable. An...
The Spinoff •

Why New Zealand is the world's flavour guinea pig | The Spinoff

Ginger Coke, Caramilk, even Eftpos – we had them all first.We’re the first to see the sun rise on a new year, we were the first country to give women the right to vote, and one of our own was part of the duo that first conquered Everest. And we were also the first to … try out a ginger flavoured Coca Cola? That’s right. As you trawl the aisles of Woolworths or Pak’nSave you may be doing more than the weekly shop – you may be part of a global market test. Mondelez, the company who owns Cadbury, h...
The Spinoff •

Can you actually outsource your mental load? I desperately tried to | The Spinoff

With the lofty promise of relieving a mother’s mental load, Rose Hirst trials two ‘family assistant’ apps.I, like many people, carry a heavy weight. It whispers to me as I drift to sleep at night “Did you remember it’s mufti day at school tomorrow?”It disrupts my most mundane and joyous moments alike. In the shower I’m reprimanded that the shampoo is less than 10% full and needs replenishing. While attending a wedding, I’m interrupted by a distant shriek, “your son’s passport needs renewing!”The...
Cheek Media Co. •

Instagram has put a price on your neuroticism; it’s $6.99 a month

Meta is attempting to package peer reassurance itself as the premium product, and it’s not the first time the tech giant has been accused of exploiting our vulnerabilities for monetary gain, writes Rose Hirst.Many years ago, I was dating a man who I suspected of infidelity.My suspicion had been piqued by a now-removed Instagram feature called “following”.Long-time users will remember that for almost a decade from 2011-2019, you could click a side tab and see a chronological list of activity from...
The Spinoff •

Where did all the acne go? | The Spinoff

Cystic acne and its scarring seem to be disappearing from New Zealand faces. Here’s why.A bright green star adorned the freckled face of the teenager manning the supermarket check-out. Groups of schoolgirls sauntered past, clutching Stanley cups, cheeks dotted with neon stickers. At first, I wondered if they were a fashion accessory, but no, they had a purpose. They’re pimple patches, a way to shrink a zit while making it look cute.My first thought was “I wish we’d had those when I was a teenage...
Roe Magazine •

Not Everything Is About You. Please Learn to Scroll.

It’s all down to this phenomenon, “what-about-me-ism.” Why do people feel that everything they encounter online must be personally tailored to fit their personal preferences? What happened to seeing something, deciding it wasn’t for you, and moving on? This particular occurrence tends to be most prevalent in the online world; perhaps that’s because it’s where we can see it (i.e., the comment section).Do people in real life walk into an ice cream store and declare that they have sensitive teeth a...
Roe Magazine •

Why Are We All Performing Our Friendships Online?

It’s common knowledge that when someone announces life-changing news on Instagram, they become a celebrity for the day. Possibly for the week. It’s their time to shine. But what’s less discussed is what happens next. Because the real performance is in the comments section.I might have been the last person in the world to realise that those perfectly executed pregnancy announcements you see on Instagram are actually just digital templates you customise with your own surname and due date. I used t...
news.com.au •

Why is smoking fashionable again after decades of public health success?

Decades of public health victories are being quietly undone as a notoriously toxic habit makes a baffling, high-fashion comeback among young people.A silver tray piled high with cigarettes fills my screen, the slim white sticks arranged as carefully as canapes. The image comes from the May 2026 opening of Australian fashion brand Sir The Label’s new store. Alongside the obligatory martinis and hors d’oeuvres were bespoke branded lighters emblazoned with the company logo, and trays laden with Vog...
The Spinoff •

The sad demise of New Zealand’s dairy lollies | The Spinoff

First they came for the Toffee Milk bars…A few years ago, while driving on a South Island road trip, we stopped at a corner dairy to buy some milk for our toddler son. At the counter, a box of Whittaker’s Toffee Milk bars sat temptingly. A handwritten sign perched on top. It read: LIMIT 5.I paid for my milk and, ever the impulse purchaser, asked the shopkeeper for 10 Toffee Milk bars. She looked at me and said, “Sorry, it’s a limit of five.”In my greed, I had misunderstood the sign to mean that...

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